Sister Wives: Is Kody's Victim Mentality Actually Genuine? (Does He Really Feel So Powerless Amid Coyote Pass War & Issues With Robyn?)

Sister Wivesstar Kody Brown seems to feel so alone lately, amid a battle over the family's Coyote Pass land, which is divided into four plots - now, it's time to talk about why his villain act might not be an act at all. Since three wives left him, and he lost his son, Garrison Brown, Kody's reached a whole new plateau of alienation. Derided by his ex-wives and some of his older children, he's also painted as a villain by fans.

With reality fame there can be a real dark side. There is a loss of privacy - there is endless judgment. Kody clearly doesn't feel like a villain at all, as his words and actions show. However, the world keeps telling him that he's a bad person.

Kody's a man like any other. The issue is that his ups and downs are out there for the entire world to judge. The fact that he multiplied his love with four wives, versus the usual one, has put him in a unique and uncomfortable position. After losing his status as a polygamist, and losing the son that he loved so much, he's not the same person. However, no matter how experience shapes and softens him, he is criticized. Kody, who's often cranky and out of sorts, may wonder how to be himself, and resent those who pick him apart.

Kody Needs To Express Himself

Whether People Like It Or Not

It's important for Kody to be himself - to share his truth. As a mother of a son, I know that men have feelings - a lot of feelings, and they need to get them out. Sometimes, even though there's been progress, it's like society expects men to swallow their pain and repress it. Men who are trying to be "strong" may feel undervalued and unheard. They may wish things were different - that they could show vulnerability without being perceived as weak.

Kody's Life As A Public Figure Can Be Very Tough

Can Anyone Adjust To This Kind Of Exposure?

Until someone actually walks a mile in Kody's shoes, they really have no idea what it's like. This level of fame has to be experienced to be understood. Above (via @pumpkinpunky via TikTok), Kody is filmed from behind while he strolls with Robyn. There are cameras following his every move.

This kind of laser focus on his life may make him hold in pain, but that can be harmful - it can even contribute to a victim mentality. That can be real - not an act. After so much shade from fans and his own family, Kody may actually feel like an outcast. He can't even go to a shopping mall or bar without ending up on social media, where people make fun of him.

According to WebMD, when people have a victim mentality, they "take things personally," and often ask themselves, "What did I do to deserve this?" This feeling of being a victim often surfaces due to trauma. The person's energy becomes more "negative" as they are processing so much. However, they won't accept their role in things, which can prevent them from making good decisions, such as taking full accountability.

Is it any wonder that Kody tries to explain his side of things? To redress the balance by sharing his own take on his failed relationships and feuds? No, of course not. Kody may feel hard done by because people have been so mean. He may feel like an outsider in his own family too, at least, when he's not with Robyn Brown.

Kody May Feel Like He Can't Win

He May Feel Sad

If Kody doesn't open up and tell people how he's feels, he may slip into a state of quiet desperation. However, when he share his feelings, everything he says is torn apart. This catch-22 can lead to a lot of buried anger and sadness, and occasional outbursts. Would any of us be any different if we were being judged so harshly? I doubt it. Kody talked about feeling persecuted for loving Robyn, with whom he occasionally hit turbulence, as seen in the clip above. In another Sister Wives scene, he said:

"I am only guilty of not falling madly in love with their mothers."

He possibly played the victim when he talked about his issues with children by other mothers. Kody feels that he's getting punished because he prefers Robyn. He said:

They’re purposefully leaving me out of their lives to punish me for a crime I did not commit,'

On an older Instagram, Kody was roasted by fans. Their merciless assessments of his character must sting, feeding into his victim complex. One fan did not mince words, basically telling Kody to pull himself together. This post and comment were added before he lost his son. The Sister Wives viewer said:

if you continue to blame everyone else, as to why your family fell apart... you are going to be a very lonely man.

What can soothe the restless heart of Kody? Robyn can, but that's not always enough. There's so much stress and so many emotions. Kody had big dreams for Coyote Pass - for his future. He feels that falling in love with Robyn was the reason why he became an outcast - that everyone turned on him. Maybe people should listen to what he has to say - is there a grain of truth to this? Should he be punished forever because of a passion so strong he couldn't control or hide it? Is loving Robyn wrong? No, of course not.

Imagine for a moment that the whole world is putting you down. Your every move and utterance is put under a microscope and analyzed. Nothing you do is ever good enough. That's where Kody is at, and there's no way for him to really filter out the noise.

Fame is bright lights - it's intense scrutiny. Sometimes, it's pain. Kody's family fell apart while everyone watched. Now, he's on the fringes, trying to "heal" his relationships with his exes. At the same time, he needs to keep Robyn (who called her and Kody's kids with her the "core family") happy.

Even after the exes left, he was unable to really enjoy his love for Robyn. Kody's typically all lit up around her - it's real love. However, because he shares children with the women who left, he must constantly think of how other people feel.

Sometimes, he fumbles - he may want to escape from all that pressure, but adulting is mandatory. He wants his children he fights with to come to him - however, he may find that going to them is the best way to change his life. He's their father and he always will be. They need him in their life.

At one point, Kody seemed to have it all figured out. The exes left him, but he seemed to want it that way. He had a new and monogamous life with Robyn, and things seemed to be okay. What no one could predict was a terrible event - Garrison's death. Since they were estranged when he died, the pain Kody's living with must be terrible. So much was left unsaid - these things can haunt a person, and anyone in that situation might have trouble dealing with their memories, their feelings... guilt and fear and missing the person.

However, this doesn't stop the world from telling Kody where he's going wrong in life. Nothing stops them. The idea that Kody might be emotionally wounded by fame and the slings and arrows isn't always discussed, but it should be. Yes, he's made mistakes, for which he should take accountability, but what he has to live with is a lot.

Now, as he deals with uncertainty over the future of Coyote Pass, he may feel like he's still on the fringes. Robyn has said he's hard to live with, but he's dealing with grief that could be all-consuming. He may keep some of that pain inside. People might not realize how much it's hurting him and acting on him. Maybe he feels like true happiness is too great of a challenge. Janelle's still trying to heal too. These natural reactions to grief are so human.

However, there's always hope, like a shining city in the distance. Picture Kody alone in a car, following the road's white lines to a brand-new place, filled with light, throbbing energy and possibilities. What Kody needs to do is make peace with his exes. He needs to forgive them. Kody needs to stop ruminating over their fights... the insults that reverberate in his head, dragging him back into the past.

If he reaches that glowing city, where everything feels new, he can find new dreams. When he lets the light in, he will radiate the type of energy that people respond to. He will show the world that he values what he has left - that he can be happy.

We're all victims at times, but we need to fight that, like kicking off hands that are trying to pull us down. When Sister Wives' Kody opens his heart, the barriers that he's erected will fall away - people will see the real him - a man with feelings... a man who needs love and gives love. And then fans can begin to know the real Kody.

Sources: Kody Brown/Instagram, @pumpinpunky/TikTok, WebMD